Around three-quarters of adults (76%) said they have experienced health impacts due to stress in the prior month, including headache (38%), fatigue (35%), feeling nervous or anxious (34%), and/or feeling depressed or sad (33%). - American Psychological Association
Stress is inevitable.
Simply existing as a human being implies that one will be subject to stress from all kinds of forces: gravity, the weather and environment, other people, responsibilities at work and to family, thoughts, emotions, trauma from the past, anxiety about the future, desires, fears, intentions, and so on.
When dealing with stress, one may seek to avoid it, to minimize it, to escape from it, or to take some other action in relation to it in an attempt to “reduce” the physical and mental-emotional burden one experiences.
These techniques may work for a period of time, but, ultimately, they fall short.
Why?
The way in which stress is processed is not sufficiently dynamic.
Think of a street fight in which someone on the bottom is being pressured by someone on the top.
If the person on top is bigger, more powerful, more skilled, then the person on bottom can reach a state of getting “stuck.” Movement starts to become more restricted. “Limiting damage” becomes a larger portion of one’s focus. The idea of surviving starts to dominate the idea of thriving. The frame of reference on what is being experienced becomes fixed and stops adapting to open up space, time, and possibility for movement. Eventually, it’s game over.
Life can be seen as working in this way. It applies stress - physically, mentally, and emotionally - until, some day, eventually, there is a final submission, in the form of death.
But … while one is alive, one can improve one’s response to the stress that is experienced.
A particular tool that can support such improvement is reframing.
Reframing is simply about changing the way in which a situation is perceived. The catch is that it has to occur at a deep level and be done in a genuine, sincere manner.
Surface-level reframing - for example, convincing oneself to believe a particular thing, or intellectually acknowledging the potential for alternative perspectives without feeling the depth of them - is not effective, as it lacks internal integration.
Deep reframing is something entirely different. It is a rapid reorientation of oneself in relation to what is being experienced. There’s a sense of move … move … move … move. The internal structure is constantly adapting. Emotions are flowing in ways that are fully embodied. They are not denied or suppressed, and they are not taking over one’s awareness to a degree that the reins to manage them are lost. Thoughts are experienced and released. No matter how profound, how terrifying, how integrated, or how destructive they are, they can be let go as one moves into the next moment.
The heart is pumping. The breath is harmonious. Transformation is instantaneous. It’s as though the mechanism of perception shapeshifts without stubbornness about the past, without anxiety about the future, and according to a set of principles, or values, that are not just mental in nature, but so fundamentally ingrained in one’s being - through repetitive training - that the qualities of expression they engender are consistent regardless of the circumstances one encounters.
The problem with most responses to stress is that they do not adapt in such ways. Certain undesirable aspects of life - other people’s behaviors, the unwanted experiences of the past, one’s physical and mental-emotional limitations, and so on - continue to be viewed with rigidity. They are seen through a narrow lens that locks what they “are,” and therefore locks oneself in relation to them. Fluidity ceases. It’s A vs. B, this vs. that, and, over time, the collective of “other” exerts increasing pressure on one’s framework of perception that has become tight and inflexible. Eventually, the stress leads to cracks and injuries, which, if not treated with proper care, can result in even more narrow and reduced structures of perception.
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Reframing, as a defined psychological technique, has been around since the 1960s, but it has roots in the Socratic method, and the concept of shifting the way one views a particular experience has been available as a possible therapeutic tool since humans first developed perception.
Today, cognitive reframing is often positioned as the “lighter” form of cognitive restructuring, which is a generalized tool within the cognitive therapy framework, originally developed by Aaron Beck (who helped those with depression transform persistent negative thoughts and unlock new levels of enthusiasm for life) and further described by the psychologist Albert Ellis.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has become a popular - and, according to research, effective - form of treatment for a wide range of mental health issues, including anxiety, excessive anger, and chronic stress. At a high level, CBT seeks to resolve “cognitive distortions” (frames of reference, or perceptive “schema,” that lead to inaccurate and non-beneficial interpretations of reality) and “maladaptive behaviors” (those that cause harm to one’s well-being and/or life as a whole).
Said plainly, by developing greater awareness of the ways in which one perceives one’s life experiences, one can identify patterns of interpretation that are not generating beneficial results, in the sense that they are not promoting increased liveliness and well-being.
The foundational premise underlying such an approach is that alternative interpretations (and methods of “processing”) are available for engaging with the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of any particular experience. In other words, people have the ability to give meaning to their lives through the structure with which they perceive, and if a particular structure is generating results that do not align with what one desires, then it can be beneficial to purposefully “remodel” that perceptive structure.
This is another way of describing what it means to “reframe.”
While CBT, especially narrow forms of it that emphasize overly rigid patterns of training and therapy, is not without criticism, the notion that one can transform one’s perspective in ways that are beneficial to one’s own (and others’) well-being is empowering, in the sense that it offers humans a means of improving their life experience that is 100% within their control.
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“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson
While both have value, sitting in a chair across from a psychologist and exploring the interpretive structure that is formed by the interconnectivity of one’s thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and physicality is very different than developing the skill to reframe in an instant and applying it in everyday stressful situations.
Imagine that it’s a typical weekday and you have to get your children showered, dressed, fed, and off to school while also preparing for a day of important meetings at work. Then, something unexpected happens - one of your kids bumps his head hard and won’t stop crying, you get a flat tire, your spouse isn’t supporting you the way you desire, you’re out of toilet paper, or any of a million other possible complications - and the level of intensity ratchets up at a moment when you least want it to.
The situation you are experiencing needs a solution - there’s no avoiding it. Your heart is racing, your emotions are flowing, and you’re feeling stressed.
How quickly and effectively can you frame and reframe? In other words, how well can you adapt to the reality of the situation as you engage with it and guide it towards a beneficial resolution? How well do you manage and support your, and others’, well-being while doing so? Day after day, week after week, year after year, how do you continue to enjoy the process of transforming the way you engage with life rather than reaching a stage where you wish it were “different”?
CBT can be helpful for developing a battle plan to respond in stressful situations, but actually doing so - applying it in a practical manner - requires stepping into the arena, embracing “real-life” reps with the spirit of a warrior, and gradually up-leveling one’s own ability to handle the pressure that can appear suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere.
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BOOM! The unexpected occurs. Time to shift. Keep on moving. New tone. New flow. Transition. Adjust. Living life. Feeling alive. What’s that? Got it. That there? All good. Zippin’ and zappin’ while enjoyin’ that process of evolvin’.
Reframing is about changing in an instant. It is within your power to do so, because, at any given time, you can let go of the things you are believing or the things you are doing that are not in your best interest. If you are investing your energy in actively holding onto ideas and beliefs about how life is, how people are, how things should be, what is good, what is right, and so on, and the result is that you are generating unnecessary tension that is not beneficial to your well-being, then you will have less “room” to adapt and respond when the pressure rises. At those moments, your emotional flow will start to experience irregularities. In general, there will be a lack of wholeness.
These are exactly the moments when reframing can be used effectively. You can develop the skill to relinquish whatever narrative is playing in your mind-body if it is not supporting your ability to respond with high degrees of love, power, and freedom.
Each day, there is a sense of liveliness that is available in living that day, while going through the ups and downs, while dealing with what comes, while exploring and experiencing the endless variety offered in each encounter with the unknown.
Aim & Conquer’s reframing trainings teach this kind of response in relation to stress.
Reframing can be an immersive experience, in the sense that one’s awareness can originate from deep within the mind-body structure and be tuned in to constant receptivity, constant sensitivity, and smooth adjustments. You can be quick and powerful while staying light and loving.
Aim & Conquer helps you cultivate these qualities. Adjust. Adapt. Shift. Transition. Reframe. Move forward. Let go of what is keeping you stuck, keeping you stressed, keeping you dissatisfied, keeping you from experiencing the fullness of the potential liveliness that is available to you.
Please feel free to reach out if this resonates. Have a wonderful day!
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